Parents – these are often an unexpected aspect of ESL teaching, with interactions with parents being an essential aspect of being an English teacher. It is important that meetings are held regularly so that you can communicate with parents thoroughly on about their children’s progress and how they can support at home as well as letting those whose kids are having difficulties be aware – but how do I do that?
How to communicate with parents?
Vietnamese parents’ expectations
If you have been a teacher in the West then you may feel that you have a good grasp of interacting with parents – but be warned, Vietnamese parents are very different.
The biggest change is that parents in the West are generally more focussed on how the child is doing in general – whether they are well behaved, listening, and interacting, whether they have a good attitude in the classroom and whether they seem to be enjoying the classes. The academic side is only one aspect of the concern.
In comparison, Vietnamese parents prioritise the academic standard, with there being an expectation that there will be quantifiable answers in the form of percentages, numbers and most importantly – class ranking. Inevitably, this is the key question for most Vietnamese parents – is my child top of the class?
As a result, it is important to have any data to hand that you have on the student – their homework turn-in rate / the results of any quizzes that you may have had etc. – the more numbers you have the better, as for Vietnamese parents this is an important indicator of progress.
Vietnamese parents are very focused on achievements so be ready with your data
Language barriers
You will find that many of the children’s parents have no or limited English so when conversing with the parents there will be a language barrier. There are several ways in which this can be overcome:
- Ask a teaching assistant/someone who works at the school to translate – if you can find someone who knows the pupils that is a distinct advantage as then they can clarify further if needed.
- If the children are a little older (and thus more reliable to actually translate instead of change your words into their own meaning) then the children themselves can translate.
One of the best ways to reinforce the meeting, is to prepare beforehand key aspects in bullet format that you then share with the parents for them to take home. This not only gives the parents something concrete to refer to when working to assist their child, but also makes sure that the meaning of what you have been saying is clarified ( as parents can subsequently use google translate to check what you have said at their own pace. )
Have support so that things can be accurately translated
When should I meet the parents?
Many Vietnamese parents are very busy and work very long hours. As a result, it can often be hard to get parents to come to the school or language centre specifically to meet up with you.
As a result, it is suggested that instead of only having sessions where you talk about the progress of pupils, that it is combined with another activity – for example, a presentation that pupils are giving / an information evening relating to something e.g. how to help at home / introducing new textbooks etc. In this way, parents will feel that they are gaining a lot from giving the time to visit the school/centre.
You will find that many parents simply wait in cars / on motorbikes outside rather than coming in. Try to encourage parents to enter through having special interactive aspects that pupils want to show parents. For example, you could have a daily quiz – outside the classroom door or in the lobby. This can take the form of a simple question and task e.g. have a jar of sweets – pupils and parents have to guess how many are in there / have a funny picture and the question – what happens next? – with the answer being given at the end of the day ( for schools ) or the next lesson ( for language centres.)
Make sure that you are aware of your companies policies about meeting parents
Through using this method of gaining interest, you will have parents inside the learning environment and thereby when you do want to speak to them it is easier to approach them without the need to specifically call them in.
Make sure that you are aware of your companies policies about meeting parents. Make sure you know:
- When you can communicate with parents, e.g. can you email them if the homework has not been done / if you want to meet up with parents, who in the company needs to be informed?
- What are the procedures for calling parents in to physically meet them – do you need permission from a superior? Do you call or does the office? Are meeting minutes required?
- Are parents allowed to come and ask to talk to you at any time (even during a lesson) or are there set times you need to be available? What are the procedures if a parent is still talking to you about an urgent matter and class is about to start?
The more information you have about the company’s policy the greater the chance that you will know what to expect and simultaneously be able to provide when interacting with parents.
What should I say to communicate with parents effectively ?
Each interaction with parents with be different, however, there are some basic guidelines that are important to follow:
1/. Ensure that you stand up, make eye contact and shake hands with the parents when you greet them. A small bob of the head would also be appreciated.
2/. Invite them to take a seat before you sit down (this shows respect)
3/. Start the conversation with something positive (even if there is very little that you think of) – for example, they have a clear loud voice in class/ they always attend the class / they are always punctual.
4/. Remember to pause frequently and check that parents have understood what you have said and ask whether they have any questions on this aspect.
5/. End the conversation with a summary of what you have said and offer concrete suggestions as to what steps can be taken next e.g. if you have a pupil who is very shy and doesn’t say much in the class then you can suggest that they practise English through singing songs with others to get them used to the English words and give them initial confidence etc.
6/.At the end of the conversation stand up, shake hands once again and accompany them to the door.
Shake hands once again and accompany them to the door
Difficult parents
Some parents can be very difficult so it is always better to be prepared when talking to any parent. It is very important to remember that in Vietnam, respect is essential and therefore however irritated you may be with a parent who is older than you, you still need to show respect and speak quietly and without aggression.
“Losing face “is also an important part of the Vietnamese culture – i.e. making someone look bad in front of others. Therefore it is important to make sure that if you are going to have a difficult conversation with parents to explain that their child has problems of some kind, that you do so in a private area so that others cannot see or hear and that rather than stating the facts directly you tell the truth but sugarcoat how you are explaining it.
Remember that special needs of any kind in Vietnam are seen as a form of shame and there is a distinct general lack of understanding of special needs in general. As a result, although parents may be able to clearly see that there are difficulties, it is extremely difficult for them to admit it in any way. It is not your role as an English teacher to tell the parents, instead, the furthest you can go is to suggest that the child appears to have some specific difficulties.
If you do happen to have a parent who is not reacting well to your conversation about e.g. how their child is not doing well in the class, then it is fine to hold up your hand and state that you would like someone else to join in the conversation and fetch your superior to come and assist – do not battle on your own.
Don’t forget to smile and look parents in the eye when meeting
Overall, interactions with parents are an investable part of teaching life. Make sure that you do your homework on the company expectations, any background information about parents and prepare data and evidence and your interactions are bound to be productive and worthwhile.
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